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1月30日 杂碎谈 过年了，先祝列位看官们春节快乐！
ms从小都不是一特有安全感的孩子，怕黑，怕骷髅，怕妖怪，怕死，连睡觉都一定要把房间的门闭得紧紧地。有时候看完恐怖小说或者电影，一个人躺在床上，眼睛睁得大大的，盯着四周的暗影，一下也不敢闭。实在熬不过，就会蹭到我妈的床上睡。我可爱的母亲大人不知道，即使这样，我还是会瞪大眼睛望着她，确定她的脸不会在黑暗中变形，直到实在熬不过了，才睡着。半夜起来去厕所，一定顺手把一路上所有的灯全部打开。
LB曾经批评我是一个太自私的小朋友。self-centered，别人给多少爱都不觉得足够，只要有一丝不满，就毫不客气的说出让人伤心的话。我同意lb的说法，可是却无法不去索取，因为只有觉得被人需要的时候，我才觉得，原来这个世界上，我还是有存在的理由的。记得lb的blog上写过一个问题：如果我死了，真得有人会为我哭么？其实我们都知道答案，只是这个世界太赤裸裸，有人为你哭，却未必有人真记得你。
我从小不是受人瞩目的孩子。父母同事的孩子一个个着了魔似的，不仅学习好，人又漂亮，我永远都是比上不住比下有余的二等品。人长的只能说过得去，比起一个个笑靥如花的朋友，大家用来夸我的，永远都是“这孩子真耐看”。记得一个喜欢我的男生说过，我走在东大街，很难被人找出来。嗬嗬，多诚实一孩子。还有一次，上完无机回宿舍。楼下刚好有卖旧书的摊子，几个学长在卖书。有个学长说：“有个美女！”然后另一个说：“哪儿？靠！这就叫美女？”嗯。。。这个。。。我知道我不是美女。。。不过。。。说话可不可以不要那么大声啊。。。好歹我是个女的阿。。。多伤人啊，这话说得。。。生活就是这么nb，面目平常的女子，最好不要撒娇，因为很多人最讨厌长相平平的女生撒娇；不要装可爱，因为很活人罪恶新长相平平的女生装可爱。因为很多事情，都是plmm的专利。
记得以前回老家，每次都要被爸爸把成绩拿出来和别人比，那么刻意。可对爸爸和妈妈来说，在人最多的时候说起女儿的成绩，永远都那么自然。可是偶尔，总会有那么一点点不舒服。就像爸爸会在很久以后当很多认识和不认识的人的面，问我高数考了多少。学习，永远都是学习。其实是不是第一名，对我来说，没什么太大的意义，只是习惯了要去争，要去抢。就像真的来了新加坡，真的进了usp，我才发现，不知道当初为什么要申请。
不知道为什么，很多时候都有被利用的感觉。发现我除了英语还凑合，再没剩下什么。所以很讨厌听到诸如“你去过美国一年啊？”这样的问话。总觉得有那么一丝不纯的味道。朋友零零散散的几个，散落在天涯。连过年，都有点悲戚的感觉。嗬嗬，大概是古文学多了吧？还记得lb当年给我写过的信中提到胡搞让她去参加古文比赛的事，那时我们的生活，真是简单得让现在的我羡慕。 1月25日 新遥社 ： 又一学生过劳死？新遥社：
1月25号，本社汛。据可靠消息，新加坡国立大学工程学院生物工程系大一某学生于不久前在图书馆猝死。此学生系西部某高校中国赴新加坡奖学金得主， 死因尚不明确。不过据此生朋友描述，此生与死前曾多抱怨说太累，压力太大，学业太重。并且该生曾多次向他们表达想回国卖大米的想法，并且把qq签名改成了“吃得比猪差，干得比民工多，睡得比小姐少”。现怀疑这是继中国某大学大四学生过劳死之后，亚洲范围内的又一例学生过劳死。有关当局正在展开调查。
记者 师奶杀手 讯 1月19日 学习心得+电影摘抄1。 This is why it's not one of equality but one of equivalence. (晕，这两个词真的有区别么？)
2。Take a bunch of roses: I use it to signify my passion. Do we have here, then, only a signifier and a signified, the roses and my passion? Not even that; to put it accurately, there are here only "passionified" roses。（天！玫瑰和热情。。。）
3. I cannot confuse the roses as signifier and the roses as sign, the signifier is empty, the sign is full, it is a meaning.
4。 fashion is primarily assoiated with woman
5. The implication of the articles on fashion in such magazines is that fashion is women's work; young women are led to believe that they need to look stylish for men
6. A set of meanings of feminity that are made to appear attractive and relistic to young women, yet finally serve the interests of those with power, that is middle-class men
7。The character Lord Henry Wotton pronounces,"It's only shallow people who do not judge by apprearences. The ture mystery of the world is the visible , not the invisible"
8。if a wretched man has a vice, it shows itself in the lines of his mouth, the droop of his eyelids, the mouding of his hands even
9。women were expected to be more attractive and take greater care of their physical appearnce than men
10。A short man is regarded as unlucky but an over weight woman is blamed for her size, and such, beomes a target of derision
11。Whereas once a plump figure was a sign of health and wealth, particularly in subsistense societies, the current Western ideal is a light swift body that expresses the strength of refusal and denial
12。for women, however, their status has been historially tied to fuctuation in cultural definitions of beauty, feminiinty and sexual seductivness
13。Social value of beauty in the contemporary era is unrelated to any ideals of physical attrativeness but is, instead, attached to the means by which the individual has been able to secure such an appearance of beauty or attractiveness
14。 we have been induced into the world of images by the consumer ethic which has emphasized the physical body and the material object
15。the contemporary individual is continually identifying him or herself as a success or failure via momentary measures supplied by the competitive struggle for the control of goods and servies
16。...the picture has become reality, the world has been reduced to the visible, the self has been confused with its image
to be continued......
电影摘抄系列。。。
1。 we have played too many games with love, but I don't even know any of the rules
2。Sometimes we're bad without meaning to be
3。It(love) really, really hurts
4。Marry me, I can make it hurtless
I don't love you, I don't love you, Steven
5。It's(fall in love) like the most hedious dancing, nobody is getting the prize they want because it's all seond-hand or third-hand, I can't bear it
6。Not every thing in the world is your fault, not every thing in the world is your responsibility
7。And I knew this was love, 'cause my heart was breaking for him
8。I'm scared, Cassy
You're in love
9。You don't need me
I do, come home
10。The key to the world comes in word in one sylible, love
11。I have no choice, love is like that
12。...afraid that I'm not really loved, even if it means I could go through life with you
13。still better than not pained, learning nothing
14。I love, I have loved, I will love
15。I told myself sun-bathing naked was a necessary step before the ceremony. But is it? Or am I rehersling something?
16。dreams are like a drug: The magic doesn't last and then the pain is worse than knives
17。A kiss can tell a lot of things 1月5日 年度盘点
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